Manifesto

A Pledge to Shorter Theatre

To the greatest people I will ever work with and the biggest assholes I'll ever know. You are simply the kindest and the most hypocritical bunch of glorious bastards in the world. I love you dearly.

I will stab you in the back. I will talk about you when you are not around. I will wish your greatest fears into reality. I will smile at you when I don't believe it. I will wait on you sometimes and sometimes merely tolerate your presnece next to me in the cafeteria. I will be your best friend.

I will delight in your successes. I will commiserate with your failures. I will tell you the truth if you wish to hear it. I will lie to you if you wish to hear it. I will support you in whatever you do because you are a fantastic artist. I will encourage you to blaze your own trail.

I will call an excellent show. I will be in all black. I will make off-color remarks on headset. I will cuss you out if you miss your cues. I will apologize. I will recognize that I do so very little in comparison to the great work that's being done.

I will laugh at you when you say you are tired. I will bitch at you when you say you can do no more. I will motivate you to go get your classwork done. I will understand when you skip to take a nap.

I will listen to anything you ever need to say to me. I will give you advice and only be slightly miffed when you don't take it. I will advise you on monologues to use, how to audition, and how to get things done in this place. I will talk to you.

I will shoot the shit with you in the cafeteria. You will know that, so long as I am there, you have a place to sit and someone to talk to. No matter how good my book is or how much homework I have to do, I will not abandon you to yourself, because we are a family. Families eat their meals together. We will laugh and ask after each other's days and give hugs and scare each other and play games and sometimes, sadly, we will even sing.

I will see you in class. I will whisper answers to you during the middle of discussions. I will occasionally have to ask you what happened because I only got to Act II, Scene 3. I will give you honest critique and I will try to not be a coward. I expect that you will do the same to me.

I will drink with you when times are hard. I will drink you when time are celebratory. I will more than happily let you sleep on my couch. I will listen to your problems. I will provide a place for you to escape when things get awkward.

I will love you, and I will hate you.

An Explanation

This is my relationship to the Shorter Theatre Department. I don't know what else to say except that it's all true, and that I honestly pledge to do all of the above. You can count on it. I'm sure I'll come back to this list again and again to mark it up.

Be safe, and may we all be blessed.