Slavery-Lite

So, I was sitting in the office tonight, quickly catching up on e-mail, trying desperately to get out before my 12 hour day somehow turned into a 13 hour monstrosity.  Behind me, I heard my friends Jake and Celina talking about get together for next Saturday night.  Something about selling people.  Something about what people should wear.  I turned to Jake and he handed me the invite that had apparently just been made.

Two things about this invite:
1.  It is a remake of the famous Grant Wood painting "American Gothic."  I fucking love making homages to "American Gothic."
2.  It is this Saturday night at a familiar locale in Koreatown.

When I asked what was going on, Celina said that there was going to be a date auction, but that I already knew that.  Which was news to me.  Because I hadn't heard anything.  But she continued, "Yeah, it's going to be Joe, Amanda, Will, and you, so far.  Richard said he talked to you."  We both turned to look at Richard, who was sitting across the room, staring at a computer.  He didn't say anything, and Celina just looked away and rolled her eyes.

"This is the first you're hearing about it."
"Yeah.  That's about the size of it."
"We're having a date auction to support the arts.  Don't you like the arts?"

What sort of question is that?  Loaded, for sure.  "So, will you do it?"  Only in my time in LA have I been asked to be an item at an auction after it was already announced on Facebook that I'd be there.  I have such a weird life and such crazy inventive friends.
"Sure, why not?"

The thing is, date auctions always make me a little sad when they're taken too seriously, so I hope this one is light-hearted (I plan to show up dressed like my thug life roommate, so there you go).  Plus, I've done date auctions before Improv, and even though I hated them (and always could find a reason to push it further back in the calendar), it isn't the end of the world.  It just all boils down to my very human fear that no one will pick me or that I will be picked last.  Which is dumb and probably won't happen and even if it does, who gives a fuck?  It's for charity, and it didn't cost me a damn thing.  And I'm doing a friend of favor.

God, there better be free booze there.