Why My Kids Won't Be Special

This may sound like a rip-off of Disney's The Incredibles, but when everyone is special, no one is. This has come to my attention in sharp contrast in the last twenty-four hours.

At my school, (good ol' S****** College) I am a third-year BA English and Theatre double major with an emphasis in Creative Writing and Stage Management. I attend an average of 23 hours of class a week and I spend my evenings cut between stage managing our current production of Guys and Dolls and hanging out with my friends that have quickly become my family.

So, when people try to make my life difficult, I don't take kindly to it.

I am trying to be more positive, though, so in my intro meeting last night at the first rehearsal, I cussed very little verses the sailor on steroids that I usually am. I nicely said that I wanted this to a process of very little negativity and that I would appreciate it if people could leave their jadededness at home.

No. Such. Luck.

First rehearsal, three people hanged themselves. I have to talk to three people after one rehearsal; pretty much all of them have a horrible attitude. If you want to quit the show and if doing theatre means so little to you, then leave. Don't get a degree. Why would you waste your money or, more importantly, your time on a program and a training that you don't believe will aid you? Two of them, Anna and Barbara, decided to have a self-titled comedy hour while learning a song. Another, Tim, decided that he would murmur to himself in a near chant that the acting exercises were "the stupidest thing [he'd] ever done."

Thank you so much for being a bastion of hope and light. I appreciate it, as do the 27 other members of the cast and the 15 member design team. We really appreciate it. I really do enjoy having people spit in my face.

But why won't my kids be special? Because I'm not. I go to class, I do my job, I love my families, and I go to sleep. And these people pretend to be the shit because they are "special" and have nothing more to learn. Great. Groovy. Wonderful for them, but I'm not that good at life, so I think that I'll keep my plebian status for a bit longer...

At least until I pull in a steady paycheck.