Running for the Hills

"And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide..."
--"Title and Registration," Death Cab for Cutie

Sometimes, my iTunes knows exactly what I need to listen to. And I'm not even using the Genius program...just the shuffle tends to work out.

I went to a Hallow's Eve party last night. I didn't want to go. I've had a really shitty week, but some friends asked me to go, and I thought maybe I'd be able to have a good time in spite of myself. That didn't happen.

I don't even really know what happened that made it such a horrible time for me. Nothing happened to me. I was fairly tipsy (read: shnookered), but I could have just spent the evening talking to people.

But, I keep seeing people making the same mistakes. And it isn't even one specific person: it's everyone. All the addicts: alcoholics, loveaholics, attention whores, basic whores, druggies, partiers, trannies, bicyclists, burnouts, and baklavarians. My attitude is that people simply don't want help. And that's fine, because I'm tired of trying.

Sirian came and got me last night because I couldn't stay there another moment...I was starting to freak out. My pH is all screwed up and life looks like the television version of itself.

I understand why wise men are often found at the top of mountains--that's exactly the number of people they want to see in a day.

I'm going to go read Beowulf now and...pray...for guidance.